Tyeisha we're back these are some heavy memories that you are sharing. Thank you for seeing my blog as a special place to mind dump.
So where were we; ok my grand mother had enough. I don't remember her talking to me about any of the madness that was happening or why I was allowing it to happen. She just took it upon herself to call DHS (Department of Human Services) on me and they sent out the people. I already wasn't thinking clearly, going through whatever nightmare formed in my mind. When the social worker came, chile I didn't even think at all I just remember snapping the hell out and chasing her up the street. In my mind if I caught her I was going to whip her ass! Bad decision. I was so mad that when I got back in I walked in the house and slammed the door. Neglecting to realize my 2yr old daughter was on the porch. I walked right pass her and slammed the door. I don't even remember when I realized she was even out there. Needless to say I was looked at as crazy and unstable after that and lost my children. Jodie I am not going to go into the details of any of that. I will say all of that led me into my next bad decision.
They say if you can't take the heat get out of the damn kitchen! I couldn't take the damn heat. I needed help, I needed support neither of those I had from anywhere so in a moment of insanity I decided to do cocaine. I was spiraling out of control, trying all kinds of drugs trying to numb the pain. Bad Decision. But you don't understand I kept telling myself your life is over. I never really got over it or got through it which led me into my next bad decision after it took 10 years to make the decision to get sober. I became a 911 operator. Now that in itself wasn't a bad decision it was the fact that I used the job as a distraction, so I wouldn't have to worry about how I was feeling. That was the bad decision. I didn't find that out until after the pandemic of 2020.
So many things besides that happened that year including my spiritual awaking. I was able to learn how to go within and I came to a hard realization. That as much as I didn't mind my job I couldn't save the world and I needed to take sometime to work on me. Good decision now what I did next was the total opposite of that. I got married to a man I had only known for 6 months. That's not always a bad decision because for some people it can turn out amazing. Just not for me, two years in my husband had a midlife crisis. I could not roll with him through it because it was taking me places I did not want to be. I had to leave him to his own devices. Meanwhile I wondered around on my own not really sure what to do.
Then I met you Jodie and am able to reflect on my series of bad decisions. Maybe the one I'm currently in will be my last. Maybe not who knows maybe.... Hey Jodie thanks for writing my story I never thought someone would find me interesting enough to write about.
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