Ok We're back for part 2! Jen Gurl 🤣        We ended up texting and DMing each other everyday after that. We set a date to meet & we really hyped each other up two days before. When the big daddy arrived that both of us had been anticipating, he sent the address to the hotel & the room number. I was nervous because I could already tell he was dominant. I definitely like those kind of men because I'm a Submissive. It seemed like he’ll be just what I'm looking for! He meets me, I come in the room we talk a lil bit & I roll up a blunt. He said it had been three weeks since he's smoked. I asked him if he wanted a puff & he said yeah.          He smoked literally a puff & then started freaking out. He said he was feeling a little noid & off key so I calmed him down in a soothing voice. Now this is where it got weird for me. He started acting like he didn't want to kiss me and I'm not used to that. Dudes be kissing m...

Jen Gurl, Thank You for sharing this story with me I'm having a great time writing it with you! Traveling & meeting people always leads to extra fun & sometimes scary stories. I’m chilling in my seat on this Amtrak train hoping the person sitting next to me wasn’t going to be annoying. Low & behold it was one of the fine chocolate men I had been peeping traveling since Arkansas. He was really handsome but really dusty, meaning looking a bit unkempt. When he sat down next to me he smelled a lil musty as well. I mean at that point we were on the train for two days me coming from my home in Oklahoma so I couldn’t judge. But what I do know is when I knew I smelled musty I went in the bathroom & gave myself a bird bath & put on deodorant. One of my friends calls it a whore’s bath lol. N-e-way back to Mr. Musty when he sat down he seemed uncomfortable. He asked me in his thick ass southern accent if I wanted to sit next to my bo...

  As humans, we are conditioned to respond to the world in specific ways, both positively and negatively. This conditioning shapes our beliefs, behaviors, and even our interactions with others.  Think about it: from a young age, we absorb messages from our families, cultures, and societies. These messages teach us what’s acceptable and what’s not. For example, many of us are conditioned to value success and achievement above all else, while others might be taught to prioritize community and relationships.  But here’s the kicker: this conditioning can limit our potential. When we cling too tightly to these learned behaviors and beliefs, we risk missing out on opportunities for growth and change. We might shy away from pursuing passions because we fear judgment or failure.  On the flip side, being conditioned for certain things can empower us. It can instill values like resilience, empathy, and determination. These traits can drive us toward our goals and help us build...

      Let's talk about Chakras, how u can tell they are blocked and what we can do to open them.  The Crown (Sahasrara) Color:   Violet   Location:  Top of the head Associated with: Spiritual awareness, enlightenment and connection to the divine. Element: Thought or cosmic energy  Stone: Amethyst, clear quartz, selenite, lepidolite, Howlite, labradorite, sugilite, white agate and others When this chakra is blocked   one can experience fatigue, headaches, dizziness, light sensitivity, poor coordination, brain fog, and sleep disturbances . When the chakra is open ,   it can lead to a deeper spiritual connection, increased intuition and the heightened sense of universal consciousness. One will be blissful with an understanding of attachment and letting go with a sense of purpose wisdom and understanding. Yoga poses  that can help unblock  - Head Stand -Lotus  -Tree ( hold each pose for 5 to 10 breaths) Here's a mantra  c...

     Let's talk about Chakras, how u can tell they are blocked and what we can do to open them.  Third Eye (Ajna) Color:   Indigo Location:  Center of the forehead between the eyebrows  Associated with:  Intuition, perception, psychic abilities & a deeper connection to spiritual realms  Element: Light   Stone:  Purple & Violet, Amethyst & purple sapphire  When this chakra is blocked   one may experience confusion & lack of clarity, overthinking, difficulty with intuition, headaches, or sinus issues & sleep problems  When the chakra is open , one can experience inner vision, spiritual awakening, intuition, sight, mental clarity & manifestation.  Yoga poses  that can help unblock  - Childs Pose -Downward facing dog  ( hold each pose for 5 to 10 breaths) Here's a mantra  chant ONG & say I can see clearly & I know what I need to thrive in the world in which I am for...

    Let's talk about Chakras, how u can tell they are blocked and what we can do to open them.  Throat  (Vishudda) Color:   Blue Location:   throat and is connected to the thyroid gland and voice box  Associated with:   communication, self-expression and creativity Element:  Ether/ space Ether is described as the clear sky; the upper regions of air beyond the clouds Stone:  Aquamarine, turquoise, blue lace agate, sodalite & others When this chakra is blocked    it can lead to communication difficulties, such as fear of speaking, the inability to listen or lying When the chakra is open , one can experience enhanced communication, self-expression, the ability to speak your truth with ease and authenticity while also improving listening skills and fostering Harmony in relationships. One can have increased confidence with reduce stress and anxiety. Yoga poses  that can help unblock the Heart Chakra  - Fish -Camel...

   Let's talk about Chakras, how u can tell they are blocked and what we can do to open them.  The Heart (Anahata) Color: Green   Location:   center of the chest Associated with:  love, compassion and emotional healing Element: Air Stone:  Rose Quartz When this chakra is blocked   one can have difficulty trusting, feeling lonely, having trouble forgiving. When the chakra is open ,  one may feel that it is like stepping into a warm loving embrace. One might also notice increase empathy, a deep sense of connection with others in a general sense of well-being, for some it's like a weight has been lifted Yoga poses that can help unblock the Heart Chakra  - Camel pose -Cobra pose -Bridge pose -Fish pose -Bow pose ( hold each pose for 5 to 10 breaths) Here's a mantra also try a sound: Yam pronounced yum & you can say, I forgive myself and others out of love Be sure to do heart opening yoga poses, meditation, start a gratitude journal,...

  Let's talk about Chakras, how u can tell they are blocked and what we can do to open them.  Solar Plexus (Manipura) Color: Yellow   Location:  in the upper abdomen between the navel and the diaphragm behind the aorta at the base of the sternum. The center of energy  Associated with:   the regulation of fears, gut feelings, this is where the sense of power comes from, and confidence.  Element:  Fire Stone: Citrine, Amber, Calcite, Tigers eye, Pyrite & Yellow Jasper just to name a few. When this chakra is blocked because it is linked to the body's stress response one may experience low self-esteem, lack of confidence, difficulty taking action, insecurity, and a inability to assert themselves. When the chakra is open, one will be able to express honesty and good intentions. One will have strong personal power, an abundance of confidence, strong willpower and self-esteem with the ability to manifest desires. Yoga poses that can help unblock t...

 Let's talk about Chakras, how u can tell they are blocked and what we can do to open them.  Sacral (Svadhisthana)  Color : Orange   Location: lower abdomen just below the navel. Associated with: creativity, sexuality, and emotional expression Element: Water Stone: Carnelian   and orange calcite   When this chakra is blocked one may have difficulty expressing emotions, having a lack of motivation & feeling numb towards pleasure. When the chakra is open, one can experience heightened creativity, increased emotional expression, a deeper connection to one's sexuality, a greater sense of pleasure and sensuality and a feeling of being more in touch with your body and emotions. Yoga poses that can help unblock the Sacral Chakra  - Reclined butterfly pose -Goddess pose -Low Lunge (both sides) -Goddess/Devi pose ( hold each pose for 5 to 10 breaths) Here's a mantra: I honor and respect my body and it's desires. You can also say -I am in touch with my ...

 Let's talk about Chakras, how u can tell they are blocked and what we can do to open them.  Root  (Muladhara)  Color: Red Location: Base   of the spine Associated with: grounding, security, survival instincts  Element: Earth Stone: Smoky   quartz, bloodstone and carnelian   When the root chakra is blocked you may have spiritual issues and an inability to trust in the earth you may begin to feel very fearful and anxious.  When the root chakra opens you may feel more secure confident and grounded you may feel more optimistic and have a greater sense of purpose!  Yoga Poses to help unblock the Root Chakra * Mountain pose * Warrior I & I I  *Bridge pose *Child's pose    ( hold each pose for 5 to 10 breaths) Here's a mantra: I am still with humility. I am enough as I am. Walking in nature and gardening can help unblock the root chakra. You can also roll your feet, using a ball to roll your feet at the bottom this can hel...

    Hey family thanks for tuning in again!    Wellness over Illness                              Eat Well 2 Live Well by now Y'all know I'm a foodie & that i enjoy taste that tingle my tongue! it makes me so happy that I get to embark in the pleasures of life & that so many different taste are introduced into my 🌎!  So let's jump right in & see what I have for y'all this time.   This cake was made by a man that was trying to figure out how to make a super moist cake. It drove him crazy that he could't figure out how to get a cake just the way he likes it. One day he decided to mix cake mix with muffin mix & the man found the taste he was looking for! I must admit it was DELISH!!!   This was some high ass munchie shit that the same cake man from above came up with! I mean it was good but I could've done w/o the  white-chocolate pieces.     The...

      I find myself here in Louisiana between NOLA & Baton Rouge. It's been a month since I've been here. It's definitely different, I don't live in the big city, rather a small everyone knows everyone's town. A car is absolutely needed to get around. Now what is my non driving ass supposed to do with that? I was good for the first two weeks but by week 3 I was starting to get beside myself. One thing I do know is I earned & paid for that 3wk Vacay. I saved $3,000 that year at FFA. It would've been more if I wasn't bothered beyond belief by my soon to be EX husband!        I was under so much stress dealing with that man! I didn't even realize how much until I was away from him. If I didn't explain it previously I'm in a bridge program to FFA. My host went out of her way to make sure I was able to get out & do something's. She took me to an open mic night. It was the last Ignite the Mic event. I really enjoyed it I hope it's n...

 What & who is Finish First Academy? FFA is a nonprofit organization with a mission to serve the adult and youth population in Los Angeles. They offer supportive services to those dealing with homelessness, abuse, disabilities & people that just have a lack of resources. They provide housing, prevention and education surrounding crisis support. Their main goal is to not leave any individual behind. They feel that resources are their golden tool with which to support all their clients.      Why am I saying farewell and what have they done for me? Well if you have been following my survival story you would at least know that, they are the program that had a bed available when I had nowhere to go. They accepted me right away after about 25 calls surfing through the women's against abuse hotline for shelters. I came into their program on February 15th 2024. They gave me a drug test which I passed and they said Mary Jane was ok!  As long as they couldn't smel...

  Remember book reports when we were in school? For some they were a dreaded terrible thing, for others they were fun ways to recall your favorite book and an easy format to tell someone what the book was about. I've decided to post some reports of books I've read recently; let's jump right in.         My oldest child gifted me this book during the holiday season. This child of mine has into been into graphic novels since their teenage years. The interest slowly crept upon me & I found myself enjoying them as well.  Almost every time a chapter in this book ended, I felt it should be over. Now, I knew it wasn't because I'm sitting here looking at over 100 pages left! I had to continue to read for the simple fact that I had to find out where they were going to go from a particular point & how they were going to set it off. The Authors did not fail to keep an exciting colorful intense pace.  Author:   Skottie Young Title:    I Hate...

    2/8/25: I'm up at 3am... This is the 2nd anxiety shower I took this week. I wake up out of my sleep, stomach pains. A pain that resides underneath my ribcage that flows down 2 the top of my belly button. It's scary because this is what happens 2 me when I get too overwhelmed & overstimulated. I've been going though this since I was 19years old. The reason it's scary is because I can slip in2 a space & find myself not ok. This time if I slip in2 that space I won't have friends or family around, I'll b crazy & alone. This is always my thought & I never have an answer but I ask anyway, why is this happening to me?  I thought I was handling it, but maybe I'm suppressing it and it's coming out affecting my health. Or maybe I just over ate the past couple of days. My digestive system isn't the best & sometimes I get really bad gas & tension there.      There has been a startling change in events this year & I've also l...

    Remember book reports when we were in school? For some they were a dreaded terrible thing, for others they were fun ways to recall your favorite book and an easy format to tell someone what the book was about. I've decided to post some reports of books I've read recently; let's jump right in.      To be honest I do not know where I came upon this book. All I know is that I was intrigued by the title & the fact that it held more than one story. I like anthology's those are books that tell more than one story. What I didn't know about this book, was that I was in for a wild ride! The first time I started reading it I had to put it down because I found myself not being able to follow it, it was so wild. The second time I took a breath sat down & took it in. I think if I tell you what it held I would be giving up too much. All I can say is if you have a weak stomach or are triggered by tragedy in detail this book isn't for you. I enjoyed it & would r...

      Or is it just change. I gotta tell ya I am tired, I am so tired of this life I created or that was created for me. EVERYTHING has it's own way of being & Everything is happening just as it should, If all of this was written to happen to me I would definitely want to kill the author! I'm so tired of my life. I can see 1 of three things happening, either (A)  I become a crazy lady screaming in the streets about my problems, maybe pushing a shopping cart or maybe just raggedy carrying a blanket. The scary part about this one is that, that lady lives deep inside of me & she just wants to give up & say FUDGE it. I don't because there is another lady that lives inside that let's me know; that she doesn't care how tired I get WE are not doing that! But sometimes I am so beat down I think the crazy lady will win. (B)  I will off myself because I'm in so much pain. A lot of you may not understand what the pain feels like that makes one just not want t...

      Whose responsibility is it for a successful outcome after Therapy? (A) You (B) The Therapist (C) Both      If I am the one to answer the question I am going to say both. Simply because you have to be willing to get better or at least help yourself get better. The Therapist doesn't wake up in the daybreak with you & go about your routine nor do they end the day with you.  Those are feats you must go through yourself. You have to want to be ok, you have to want to get through it. You have to be willing to forgive yourself, willing to accept grief. The Therapist can assist you in coming to an understanding of the things you are powerless over but the deep work happens within.        Therapy or group gives space for words of encouragement that you might find hard giving yourself. Therapy or group allows one to rant & rave about what upsets them. These supports can point you in the right direction but nothing can be done ...

     L et's define Awareness:  Awareness is  knowledge or perception of a situation or fact. It can also be consciousness, recognition, realization or perception. Awareness is also having a concern about &  being well-informed. Now I think what happened this particular day is something that can happen to n-e-one when they get in the zone.        There is this community organization here in LA that helps people, suffering from substance abuse issues. They also help people seeking employment, people seeking housing & other things that are needed to survive in these streets. I'm not going to say the name of the organization but I became a volunteer there. This was my first day and that being the case I feel like I should've been a little more aware. It didn't have any effect on my personal performance that I wasn't, it just made me feel like from then on I would be.       That day, I came in went to group th...